Does Being Nice Pay? | Promotional Consultant

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Does Being Nice Pay?
By: Brittany Glenn
Issue: February 2010

When it comes to business, is being nice always the best policy?

It’s important to be nice. We are nice to our co-workers and customers. We are nice to our friends, family and loved ones. We are even nice to people we don’t know—we smile and greet the grocery store checker, the waiter and the gas station attendant. And everywhere we go, people tell us to “Have a nice day!”

In a people-oriented business such as the promotional products industry, being nice seems to be the norm rather than the exception. After all, if you’re not nice to your customers, they may go somewhere else to place their orders. So, can we safely say that ‘nice’ is an effective strategy in business?

Yes and no, say two industry professionals. “Being nice does work in the real world,” says Tim Brown, supplier relationship manager for Mason, Ohio-based distributor Cintas Promotional Products (UPIC: CINTP001). “The old saying of treat others as you wish to be treated is a motto I take to heart. I can recall numerous times a supplier jumped through hoops to take care of me because the relationship was one of respect.”

However, when it comes to being nice, Brown draws a line in the sand. “Being nice doesn’t mean we should give in all the time or that we shouldn’t fight for what we believe in,” he says. “People occasionally need to be held accountable. While it is not the most pleasant situation for a ‘nice’ person, we can stand firm while still showing respect.”

“Yes, it pays to be nice,” says Karl Ziegler, swell guy for Greenwood, South Carolina-based supplier CredentialExpress (UPIC: Lanyard). “Being nice is absolutely important in business. In fact, a number of years ago, I changed the title on my business cards to ‘swell guy’ instead of my corporate title. I even keep a personal blog called theswellguyblog.com.”

However, Ziegler believes there are limitations to being nice. “There is a big difference in being nice and being a pushover or doormat,” he says. “You can remain nice while firmly reminding others of your position, price or terms.”

When it comes to negotiations, nice can get a bit tricky.

The Business of Nice
Julia Rahn, Ph.D., owner of Chicago-based Flourish Studios and a licensed clinical psychologist, discusses the downside of nice in her article, “The ‘Being Nice’ Strategy.”

“The dictionary says nice is defined as pleasing, agreeable and delightful,” Rahn writes. “These three words will get you labeled as nice, but will not necessarily advance your business career. To be pleasing, agreeable and delightful means that you are acting and making decisions based on others getting exactly what they want, many times at your expense.”

Rahn writes from personal experience. As an entrepreneur, she discovered the hard way that nice is not always the best policy. “I traveled the nice road, but that didn’t work for me,” Rahn says. “Nice for me is always being pleasing and accommodating. And business is about the bottom line. I can’t continue to be nice or be accommodating and pleasing and still keep the lights on.”

When Rahn first began her business, she leased part of her office space to other businesspeople—those she knew from a networking group.

“I gave them a great deal on office space, perhaps too good of a deal,” Rahn explains. “I thought to always make it a win situation for the other party meant that at some point it would come back to me. But it doesn’t work that way. Nice doesn’t have a large place in business success.”

Remember The Golden Rule
Corinne Gregory, founder and president of Belleview, Washington-based Social Smarts, a program that teaches social skills, does not agree—although she’s nice about it.

“There are plenty of people that will tell you that being nice is an impediment to success, but I don’t believe that,” Gregory says. “I believe that you can be successful and still be a good, decent and nice person.

“When you lead with being decent and courteous toward others, you increase the odds that others are going to treat you the same way,” Gregory says. “The chances are very good that you’re going to get back exactly what you give. Lead with the golden rule.”

However, Debra Condren, Ph.D, author of the book, “Ambition Is Not a Dirty Word,” and founder of Manhattan Business Coaching, says it’s fine to practice the golden rule, but don’t be surprised if what goes around doesn’t come around.

“Practice the golden rule, but expect that others will do the same for you,” Condren says. “If they don’t, those people don’t deserve a backstage pass with you. Kindness isn’t an entitlement. If a co-worker is mean and treats you with disrespect, you shouldn’t respond in kind, but you sure shouldn’t ‘kill them with kindness’ either. That just makes you a doormat.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being nice, unselfish, fair, agreeable and responsible, but all of these can work against you if you aren’t paying attention,” Condren says. “Any good quality, taken too far, is going to bite you on the backside.”

The Negative Side Of Nice
Like Rahn, Maryann Karinch believes nice isn’t always the best strategy in business. Karinch has written several books, including “Business Lessons from the Edge,” which she co-authored with Jim McCormick.

“Being nice is an unimpressive pattern that may make you popular, but will make you invisible when it comes to promotions,” Karinch says. “Promotions typically go to people who are perceived as making a difference in the organization. Being nice is associated with status quo, not shaking things up. Nice is polite.”

Karinch believes that there is a not-so-nice side to nice. “If you adopt nice as your policy, it is possible that you have a pattern of non-confrontational behavior, which means that you could be passive-aggressive,” she says. “People may adopt nice because they just don’t like confrontation. Just think of the nicest people you have ever met and how they get back at you. Passive aggressive behavior often comes with nice.”

A recent study conducted by German researcher Guido Heineck indicated that “nice girls” don’t get ahead at the office. The study, “Does It Pay To Be Nice?” revealed that women who adopt a “masculine approach” in the office earn up to $80,000 more in their lives than their “nicer” female colleagues.

“Where your ambitious goals are concerned, nice behaviors can work against you,” Condren says. “Many ambitious women want to be nice, and we buy into the idea that we can’t go after our biggest dreams and still be nice women.”

Rahn admits that in the beginning of her career she tended to be nice to others at her own expense. “We want to create those relationships, we want to be liked,” she says. “Relationships are still a part of my business, but now I’ve put myself at an equal level at the bargaining table.”

Condren says it’s as important to be nice to ourselves as it is to others. “We must make sure that we include being nice to ourselves in our ‘I should be nice’ ethical equation,” she says. PC

A freelance journalist, Brittany Glenn writes about current issues, trends and the economy for consumer and business-to-business magazines. She is a former associate editor of PPB magazine.

Industry Professionals Weigh In
Does being nice pay? Here’s what industry professionals had to say about the importance of being nice.

“Maybe nice guys and gals don’t always finish first on Wall Street, but being nice still plays well on Main Street. Our world is still a world built on relationships. Competitive performance and pricing are givens, but it is the relationship – or being nice – that gets you the opportunity to perform. Is being nice enough? Maybe for the first order. Is having a low price enough? Maybe for the first order. Is doing a great job enough? Maybe for a few orders. Is being nice and doing a great job at a competitive price enough? Always!”

—Bill Turney, MAS, Augusta Promotional Products, LLC, Houston (UPIC: AUGUSTA)

“Being considerate of others is healthy if it is used as a supplement in your interactions and not the end goal by itself. Success is more about being goal-oriented and focused, and being nice in that process is advisable. But maybe a better term is being ethical. If you conduct yourself ethically, having common courtesy is part of that process. Being nice should not be the focus in developing personal effectiveness. It should just be one of the tactics in the big picture of personal effectiveness – not the goal in itself.”

—Michael Pusateri, Sports Awards (UPIC: SPORP014), Chicago

“Does being nice to customers pay off? We believe it does. Each time I talk to a customer, I try to treat them as I would like to be treated. It does matter how you treat people and they do notice, so why not treat them with extra kindness and respect? Who knows, maybe they will even notice and pay it forward to the next person they meet.”

—Cheryl Brungardt, Thank Em Promotions (Kaeser & Blair) (UPIC: ThankEm1), Denver

“Being nice does not mean that we should give in all the time or that we should not fight for what we believe in. Realistically, people occasionally need to be held accountable. While it is not the most pleasant situation for a ‘nice’ person, when we are respectful of others, we can stand firm while still showing respect. In the end, this generally provides a win-win.”

—Tim Brown, Cintas Promotional Products, Mason, Ohio (UPIC: CINTP001)

“I occasionally have to work with a customer who is asking for considerations that extend beyond our usual services. If the customer makes a reasonable request, we may agree to it. If a customer demands something that is unreasonable, I have no reservation to nicely point out that we cannot do what has been requested. It may be hard to let an order go, but it is even harder to have unhappy customers.”

—Karl Ziegler, CredentialExpress, Greenwood, South Carolina (UPIC: Lanyard)